Thug Kitchen

Oh my gosh, you guys. I've been following Thug Kitchen for a few months now and I DIE every time I read it. Seriously.

There will even be a book! "Expect that shit"

Post-Boards Recap

So the Step 1 exam obviously came and went. The scores came out and I passed. And that's all we'll ever speak of the dreaded test again. My post-test trip to NYC with my dad and sister was lovely. Though I didn't even come close to completing my list, I saw many good friends and had really relaxing days with family for about a week. Then the day I got home, I went up north to a friend's cabin to spend the last days before my orientations started. It was the perfect 10-day summer vacation. Here are some pictures!

Mid-Tuesday in Bryant Park. Does anyone work here?

Debbie and her dogs Toby and Lucy. So cute!

The sweetest details at Debbie and Chris' Harlem apartment

My cousin's apartment building rooftop terrace

Tiffany, Big Brother Connor and my aunt

Tiffany holding cute and wriggling things: Lucy on the left, Baby Landon on the right

Sunset view of New Jersey from the Battery Park Boardwalk a block away from my cousin's building

Korean seafood hotpot. The lobster was moving!

After...

Big Bear Lake

Big Bear Lake at sunset

Daddy harvesting some peas

Hard at work

Splendor in the Grass

Since all this, I've spent the month of July on my first clinical rotation in Neurology at the Detroit VA. It deserves another post, but for now, suffice to say, I loved it. Mostly because of the doctors, residents, and patients I've worked with. But more on that next time.

Quotability

inspiration for T minus 2 weeks...

"Love is never finished, and life is never as clean as the stories we tell ourselves. If that robs us of a certain resolution, perhaps it’s enough that those moments let us sit back and look at one another and say: we almost didn't make it, but we got here. Now let’s keep going."

Daniel Carlson, from his film review of Before Midnight

(photo from Vogue, July 1940)

Flats Envy

I'm so conflicted about expensive flats. With my inexpensive ones, I'll wear them every day and they'll either be ruined by the wear-and-tear or by the smell from wearing them without socks. But this Ferragamo ad campaign is so convincing! Doesn't it just make you want to drop the almost five hundred dollars for a pair?

Maybe I should just "start smaller" with classic Tory Burch ones that everyone has. One day...

Mid-Board Exam Studying Break

It's been a while. And I shouldn't even be doing this. But because of my 1 faithful reader (and how much I love her) I will post in the midst of STEP 1 studying. Today marks my halfway point with my exam on the 17th. EEK!

But of course, I'm already planning for the fun that's coming after it. I think with all this oppressed living my classmates and I are going through (ie. sitting at a desk for 12-13 hours all day everyday... I didn't even realize it was Memorial Day this past weekend), all I want to do is let loose and go wild. Ok, so by "go wild," I really just mean decadent foods and endless shopping... Come on, what else?

I have plans to go to NYC for the 10 or so days I have left before I begin my orientations for 3rd year. Obviously, we go a lot, but this time, I want to be an ambitious tourist! These are the tentative plans I have. I probably won't get to them all, but I really plan on living it up while I'm there! Daybee, you're joining me!

1. My old Verameat ring that I loved so much broke a few months ago! So I'm looking to replace it. This Steven Alan one is the top contender and I want to go look at it in person. I would also be unopposed to going to Catbird in Brooklyn too.
   
2. Also in Brooklyn, I want to stop by Four and Twenty Blackbirds for a slice of their famous key lime pie, Dough for a crazy(awesome)-sounding donuts, fancy cocktails at the Ides, and a walk along the Brooklyn Heights promenade. I used to take lessons just a couple blocks away from a violinist who, decades ago, sold a violin that made enough money for his brownstone.
3. Obviously the Rain Room at the MoMa that everyone keeps raving about. Or the Cloisters, the Met Rooftop... frankly, any museum would do too.
4. Cookies from Levain and Momofuku's Milk Bar.
5. This may be a stretch, but go see Wicked. I think I'm the only person left on earth who hasn't seen this yet. My sister better come if I go...
6. If not Broadway, I'd be totally down for Swan Lake at Lincoln Center!
7. Over the weekend, check out the Chelsea Flea Market or the Brooklyn Flea Markets.
8. Restaurants, restaurants, more restaurants. And don't even get me started on the Asian foods (and the bubble teas and ice cream that we've been enjoying since childhood).
9. I won't have a bicycle, but doesn't this Cup of Jo Bikeride Guide sound so awesome? Maybe I could walk bits of it...
10. Just walking through Central Park, Battery Park (my cousins live right by it!), so many pretty neighborhoods...

Yowza, this is ambitious. I definitely won't be getting to all of these, but even if I just get half, I'd be thrilled. I better pack my comfiest walking shoes! Daydreaming of post-board exam life... But now, back to work.

Joy by Zadie Smith

Read this essay by Zadie Smith discussing the difference between pleasure and joy:

"Occasionally the child, too, is a pleasure, though mostly she is a joy, which means in fact she gives us not much pleasure at all, but rather that strange admixture of terror, pain, and delight that I have come to recognize as joy"

(photo via weheartit)

C'est La Vie

So I found out this morning that I'm doing clinical rotations at Oakwood Hospital next year. Though it isn't what I wanted, there are definitely some good things about training at this site. This is me trying to be nonchalantly unaffected and positive... And it's a lot like how I'm dealing with the impending snow storm by looking at this photo from a warm and clear yesterday.

On Winter, Oranges, and a Belated Birthday

I once wrote an essay about my sister and oranges and winter. In it, I recalled afternoons from the one year we overlapped in high school and how I was afraid that maybe we'd never again be able to share the same intertwining lives we did at that time. Fast forward almost 10 years (!!!), and here we are still. Now it's not just oranges that bond us together, but so, so much more. I am and will always be forever grateful.

Sorry this is so late, but happy birthday to my sister!

(photo via weheartit)

Happy 2013... belated

A long delay in posting for this new year... The end of 2012 was really good with my trip to Nicaragua. I have plenty to update on that, hopefully soon. At least I'll have a link to the school blog I was working on while I was down there. But when I got back home, I fell sick and remained so while in NYC between Christmas and New Years... and then stayed sick for about 2 weeks into 2013. I think that definitely was a factor in how difficult I found the Cardio unit - I was playing catch-up the whole time but I've just managed to scrape by.

Anyway, more to come soon! In the meantime, it's likely that you a saw this already. But it is just so cute, I can't help myself...

"We got work to do. We can cry about it or we can dance about it.... Everybody's good to give the world a reason to dance."

Almost there...

While I'm still toiling away for my Respiratory Pathophysiology exam tomorrow, the blog was introduced. Just some extra motivation to maintain the grind. Break and Nicaragua will be here soon enough.

Dénouement

It's been such a chaotic week with crazy highs and crazy lows - I'm sure you know what kind of week I'm talking about. Anyway, there have been some scary things going on with a good friend and I've been having a really hard time with some extra-curriculars at school that will be culminating in 2 big concerts within the next 4 days. And then exams in 3 days after that. And then my week-long medical trip to Nicaragua in 2 days after that (oh, I never told you guys about that? Oops.) It felt like I had to single-handedly shoulder a lot of the burdens. Especially earlier in the week, I was feeling quite lonely, overwhelmed, and helpless. Tonight when I left school at 10pm, I was still feeling weak and sorry for myself.

The thing is, life stops for no one. The light drizzle became heavy rain during my drive home. The holiday radio station that usually provides familiarity and comfort was overbearing in its cheer. Sometimes, people and things that you want to count on will disappoint you. And somehow, through all the confusion and hurt, there is a fittingly gentle yet undeniably clear sign that things have changed. For good. I have answers. No more wondering. No more feeling sorry. No more looking back with such longing. Life moves on and I need to too.

Anyway, I got home and was cleaning out some old emails, all mopey and sad (do any of you also feel the compulsive need to purge and expunge yourself of distracting clutter after a really terrible day? That feeling that you need to seriously clean up and re-examine your life?). But then I came across some old emails that I sent out and replies that I received while I was in Peru for a month in 2008. Emails to and from some of my closest friends. Reading them made me so delightfully happy! I've actually just agreed to blog for my school during my Nicaragua trip and so these emails were found in perfect timing too. There are so many happy, thoughtful, sentimental, and true moments in those emails. And some really special discoveries that really pulled me towards the road I now travel.

In dramatic art forms like drama and film, the good story lines will always follow what pedagogues call "the dramatic arc": exposition, rising action, climax, falling action, and resolution/dénouement. But real life doesn't always follow such a convenient pattern, does it? I guess that's the whole beauty of experience. It's just extra encouraging when life does that funny thing of giving you exactly what you need to help you to get by during those sad moments, you know? I hope you're coming across some of these similarly perfect findings amidst your own chaos (if you're having any) too.

(top photo of pensive me in Puno by the JJB, 2nd photo of a boat ride to the floating Uros islands, last photo of Cusco's central square)

Quotability

"Man never made any material as resilient as the human spirit."

Bern Williams

 

 

(Photo of the Lake Michigan Sunset at J and P's wedding)

 

Glee's Give Your Heart a Break

I'm currently experiencing an unprecedented exam-free 2 weeks since I started my 2nd year. So naturally I caught up on some TV... I was unexpectedly moved by Glee's "The Break-Up" episode with the varied and unexpected songs selection (yeah, 90's No Doubt!). In true form, it was dramatic and over-the-top, but the catchy pop songs and that emotional break-up scene at the end were pleasant surprises. And sometimes, I think a girl just needs a nice cry. An emotional purge, if you will.

Anyway, here was my favorite song of the episode (only because no one will ever come close to the perfection that is the original Coldpay version of "The Scientist"). I've been listening to this more often then I'd like to admit...

Everyday Food

The old news is that life has been pretty busy lately (blah blah blah). Not much time for anything recreational, but in between classes, studying, and video-lecturing streaming, I reward myself with a foodie fix. I signed up for these Everyday Food cooking segments a while ago and almost every day, a new recipe is emailed to me. The host Sarah Carey is quirky (in a curly-haired woman kind of way) and happy. The videos are only 5 or so minutes, so definitely a break I can afford to take.

Here are 2 recipes I really want to try... when I have a little more time again.

Meatless Curry


Bacon French Onion Soup


Here is where you can sign up to get these emails too: http://www.marthastewart.com/edf

Sisters and Cookies

Just because I asked her to, my sister made these Nutella-stuffed Brown Butter Sea Salt Chocolate Chip Cookies for me this weekend. I've previously alluded to how awesome my sister has been with me during these tough past few weeks. This is just further proof of how having a sister (who makes an amazing chocolate chip cookie) is probably the best thing ever.

But seriously, about the cookies, RUN DO NOT WALK to make them. Upon tasting one, my mom "pre-ordered" them for the upcoming Autumn Festival in lieu of store-bought mooncakes. They are that good.

Ingrid Michaelson's Sort Of

I can't really pinpoint why, but it feels like this song is speaking for me all the words I cannot say.



It was also featured on this commercial that makes me tear up every time (no surprises here). You can get the song for free here: http://goo.gl/RnsKt

On Being Better

 

My second year has hit me so much harder than I thought it would. There never seems to be enough time for anything other than school-related tasks, everything is in constant motion without any feeling of control, and I am perpetually lost as to what day it is because our biweekly Monday exams have untethered me from the chronological anchor of the weekend. Even though I was warned, I'm coming to realize that this year will be just another time when you never really know until you know.

I'm still figuring this year out and how I fit into it. I'm in the same classrooms, using the same computers, saying hi to the same people, but it seems like a different lifetime when I think about my first year (barely 3 months ago). Despite so much that hasn't changed, it feels like so much more has.

I'm hopeful for a time when I don't feel like life is constantly startling me. I'm hopeful for the friend whose life has forever changed in the hardest of ways this week. I'm hopeful that I may one day be as kind and selfless as my sister has been in her thoughtful care of me during my worst moments. I'm hopeful for when the pregnant pauses of things left unsaid won't echo as loudly as what actually is said. I'm hopeful that I'll find my groove again, or even better, carve a new one. I'm hopeful that things will get better, that I will get better. That I will be better.



(photo)

An Ending

My last day of work (again). Feeling a little differently this time compared to last year as I realize that I won't be back for a while - at least not in the foreseeable future. I recall the gentle sadness and affection I was feeling when I left the lab last year. I was thinking my life would never again be the same. This time around, while I am a little apprehensive when I think about the dreaded second year, I'm also hopeful for all that it holds: pathologies, diseases, the bread and butter of medicine. While I'm not quite ready for it per say, I am determined and prepared to be unwavering in its onslaught.

Regardless, some things have stayed the exact same. Forever grateful for my time working with some amazing researchers, doing significant work on a few projects. Despite the (not so subtle) longing for complete relaxation during my last summer vacation ever, I can safely say that I made the right decision coming back. Definitely quite satisfying.


(photo via kittenskittenskittens)

The Opposite of Loneliness

Have you all heard of Marina Keegan? 

"What we have to remember is that we can still do anything. We can change our minds. We can start over... we MUST not lose this sense of possibility because in the end, it’s all we have."

Gorgeous, haunting, and so inspiring: The Opposite of Loneliness

Sunday Seven

I'm always a day late, but I've been making the most of my weekends. This is my last week of work before I take 1 week off in my last summer vacation forever. This past week was very full, in the lazy and decadent way that is so indicative of summer.