Sisterly Vernacular

So after last time's rather heavy post, here is something that has always peppered my life with joy:

can you tell which ones are related?

In addition to looking awkward in photos, when we write emails or chat with each other, my sister and I will often type in a language that consists of 80% LOLCATZ, 12% Chinglish of mostly our parents' grammar issues or mispronounciations, and 8% inside jokes which include cute sayings of little kids in our lives and favorite lines from movies and TV shows like The Office. Sometimes we'll talk out loud with these mispronounciations too. It cracks me up every time. Here are some actual examples of some recent mails and texts we've exchanged:

"datz why dere frainds"

[Translation: That's why they are friends.]

hellow bellow. How was your examie wammie? I'm tres excited for tonight. 

[Translation: Hello. How was your exam? I'm very excited for tonight.]

HIS VOICE IS SO SULTRY. I agree dat da more you listen to his songs, da better dey get. Dis morning I heard that "nothing but you" song and I was like, SO HAPPY.

[Translation: His voice is so sultry. I agree that the more you listen to his songs, the better they get. This morning, I heard "Nothing But You" and I was very happy.]

"Wid CHAINZ ON YOUR LAEGS!"

[Translation: With chains on your legs.]

OMG you MUST marry him!!!!!!!!!!!!! he so furnny. lawlz. Was this for his game against the mets? Are dere weedeos of him batting????

[Translation: Oh my gosh. You must marry him. He is so funny. I'm laughing out loud. Was this for the game he played against the Mets? Are there online video clips of him batting?]

"It not fair because his fadder is a dentist and dat changes everyting"

[Translation: It is not fair because his father is a dentist and that changes everything.]

I Screwdette (purposely mispronounced Skroo-deh-tee) Chen.

[Translation: I'm screwed.]