Dénouement

It's been such a chaotic week with crazy highs and crazy lows - I'm sure you know what kind of week I'm talking about. Anyway, there have been some scary things going on with a good friend and I've been having a really hard time with some extra-curriculars at school that will be culminating in 2 big concerts within the next 4 days. And then exams in 3 days after that. And then my week-long medical trip to Nicaragua in 2 days after that (oh, I never told you guys about that? Oops.) It felt like I had to single-handedly shoulder a lot of the burdens. Especially earlier in the week, I was feeling quite lonely, overwhelmed, and helpless. Tonight when I left school at 10pm, I was still feeling weak and sorry for myself.

The thing is, life stops for no one. The light drizzle became heavy rain during my drive home. The holiday radio station that usually provides familiarity and comfort was overbearing in its cheer. Sometimes, people and things that you want to count on will disappoint you. And somehow, through all the confusion and hurt, there is a fittingly gentle yet undeniably clear sign that things have changed. For good. I have answers. No more wondering. No more feeling sorry. No more looking back with such longing. Life moves on and I need to too.

Anyway, I got home and was cleaning out some old emails, all mopey and sad (do any of you also feel the compulsive need to purge and expunge yourself of distracting clutter after a really terrible day? That feeling that you need to seriously clean up and re-examine your life?). But then I came across some old emails that I sent out and replies that I received while I was in Peru for a month in 2008. Emails to and from some of my closest friends. Reading them made me so delightfully happy! I've actually just agreed to blog for my school during my Nicaragua trip and so these emails were found in perfect timing too. There are so many happy, thoughtful, sentimental, and true moments in those emails. And some really special discoveries that really pulled me towards the road I now travel.

In dramatic art forms like drama and film, the good story lines will always follow what pedagogues call "the dramatic arc": exposition, rising action, climax, falling action, and resolution/dénouement. But real life doesn't always follow such a convenient pattern, does it? I guess that's the whole beauty of experience. It's just extra encouraging when life does that funny thing of giving you exactly what you need to help you to get by during those sad moments, you know? I hope you're coming across some of these similarly perfect findings amidst your own chaos (if you're having any) too.

(top photo of pensive me in Puno by the JJB, 2nd photo of a boat ride to the floating Uros islands, last photo of Cusco's central square)

Pietro Mascagni's Cavalleria Rusticana: Intermezzo

I first performed in my cousin's wedding when I was 12 years old. Later, I became a wedding musician for hire through high school and college. Now I only do it occasionally for my very favorite people. I had thought by now, I'd heard or played nearly all of the good wedding music. However, for her candle lighting, Care requested this piece - one I had never heard of before. I'm seriously obsessed, listening to it on repeat even as I type this. Not only is it just so tender and beautiful (Italian opera will always get you!), but I reflexively think of Care and Rus' equally tender and beautiful ceremony. For me, this piece will forever carry the poignant weight of such happiness.

Sunday Seven

So once again, I dropped the ball on my Sunday Seven. I've just completely ignored it (and the blog, generally) for a few weeks now. In my defense, I've successfully completed my first year of med school (ahhhh!) and started my summer research job back up with only 1 weekend as my break. But here I am again!

Sunday Seven

Of course I'm already late on my second Sunday Seven post... but better late than never, right?

Sunday Seven

I attended a seminar recently where we watched an episode of This Emotional Life exploring the concept of happiness. I eat this stuff up. In college, I was an English Literature and Biopsychology double major and I've always been drawn to the intersection of science and the human experience. Not only has the link between proof-seeking science and intangible emotional experience always been fascinating to me, in many ways I've often felt reassured because my own questions about such ideas, even ones as basic and fundamental as happiness, are shared by many. Things aren't always as simple as they appear... How many secrets of life I have yet to discover.

In this particular episode, they describe a technique used in Positive Psychology in which an individual focuses on positive aspects from their normal day. They are then asked to describe these moments and why these experiences inspired positive feelings or thoughts. From there, one (or his or her positive psychologist) is able to see patterns in his or her own experience of happiness.

Jenny and I always wanted to keep a record (public or private) of 3 things we were grateful for that happened to us in a day. It's always easy (and quite satisfying) to wallow in self-pity or seek pity in others for all the hardships that we experience, but I'd argue that it's just as easy to find the good too. Because of this, I want to challenge myself to find the good in each day, be it an overall good or bad one. I'd ideally like to do it daily, but let's be honest, I don't even shower that often (TMI?). So I think I plan on recording 7 positive things every Sunday that hopefully will cover the past week. The Sunday Seven. Here we go:

1. Seeing all of the pictures from Debbie's wedding (a real post about this soon!) popping up all over Facebook because they let me relive such a happy day.
2. Dessert with Jenny on Tuesday, having fun with Albert yesterday, phone calls with JJB Friday, Debbie today. Getting to talk about anything and everything makes me refreshed and grateful for these friendships.
3. The cherry tree blooming outside my room window, pictured above, because though it flowers only fleetingly, the pink flowers and even the withering, fallen petals are just beautiful.
4. Picture texts from my sister from Shanghai! iMessage is so awesome and I'm so glad she's getting to enjoy her vacation with our dad.
   
   
5. A chance to really learn through something unpleasant. The power of communication and having a little hope can do wonders.
6. The first of countless salads for this summer: http://instagr.am/p/JvfKuyoLxs/. Tomatoes, cucumbers, garbanzo beans, purple cabbage with the dressing from my favorite salad. So simple, so delicious.
7. A day off today because I can play catch-up while semi-relaxed. I intentionally skipped orchestra rehearsal for this...

Whew, there are a lot in here! I hope you have an inspired week!