Almost there...

While I'm still toiling away for my Respiratory Pathophysiology exam tomorrow, the blog was introduced. Just some extra motivation to maintain the grind. Break and Nicaragua will be here soon enough.

Dénouement

It's been such a chaotic week with crazy highs and crazy lows - I'm sure you know what kind of week I'm talking about. Anyway, there have been some scary things going on with a good friend and I've been having a really hard time with some extra-curriculars at school that will be culminating in 2 big concerts within the next 4 days. And then exams in 3 days after that. And then my week-long medical trip to Nicaragua in 2 days after that (oh, I never told you guys about that? Oops.) It felt like I had to single-handedly shoulder a lot of the burdens. Especially earlier in the week, I was feeling quite lonely, overwhelmed, and helpless. Tonight when I left school at 10pm, I was still feeling weak and sorry for myself.

The thing is, life stops for no one. The light drizzle became heavy rain during my drive home. The holiday radio station that usually provides familiarity and comfort was overbearing in its cheer. Sometimes, people and things that you want to count on will disappoint you. And somehow, through all the confusion and hurt, there is a fittingly gentle yet undeniably clear sign that things have changed. For good. I have answers. No more wondering. No more feeling sorry. No more looking back with such longing. Life moves on and I need to too.

Anyway, I got home and was cleaning out some old emails, all mopey and sad (do any of you also feel the compulsive need to purge and expunge yourself of distracting clutter after a really terrible day? That feeling that you need to seriously clean up and re-examine your life?). But then I came across some old emails that I sent out and replies that I received while I was in Peru for a month in 2008. Emails to and from some of my closest friends. Reading them made me so delightfully happy! I've actually just agreed to blog for my school during my Nicaragua trip and so these emails were found in perfect timing too. There are so many happy, thoughtful, sentimental, and true moments in those emails. And some really special discoveries that really pulled me towards the road I now travel.

In dramatic art forms like drama and film, the good story lines will always follow what pedagogues call "the dramatic arc": exposition, rising action, climax, falling action, and resolution/dénouement. But real life doesn't always follow such a convenient pattern, does it? I guess that's the whole beauty of experience. It's just extra encouraging when life does that funny thing of giving you exactly what you need to help you to get by during those sad moments, you know? I hope you're coming across some of these similarly perfect findings amidst your own chaos (if you're having any) too.

(top photo of pensive me in Puno by the JJB, 2nd photo of a boat ride to the floating Uros islands, last photo of Cusco's central square)

Quotability

"Man never made any material as resilient as the human spirit."

Bern Williams

 

 

(Photo of the Lake Michigan Sunset at J and P's wedding)

 

Glee's Give Your Heart a Break

I'm currently experiencing an unprecedented exam-free 2 weeks since I started my 2nd year. So naturally I caught up on some TV... I was unexpectedly moved by Glee's "The Break-Up" episode with the varied and unexpected songs selection (yeah, 90's No Doubt!). In true form, it was dramatic and over-the-top, but the catchy pop songs and that emotional break-up scene at the end were pleasant surprises. And sometimes, I think a girl just needs a nice cry. An emotional purge, if you will.

Anyway, here was my favorite song of the episode (only because no one will ever come close to the perfection that is the original Coldpay version of "The Scientist"). I've been listening to this more often then I'd like to admit...

Everyday Food

The old news is that life has been pretty busy lately (blah blah blah). Not much time for anything recreational, but in between classes, studying, and video-lecturing streaming, I reward myself with a foodie fix. I signed up for these Everyday Food cooking segments a while ago and almost every day, a new recipe is emailed to me. The host Sarah Carey is quirky (in a curly-haired woman kind of way) and happy. The videos are only 5 or so minutes, so definitely a break I can afford to take.

Here are 2 recipes I really want to try... when I have a little more time again.

Meatless Curry


Bacon French Onion Soup


Here is where you can sign up to get these emails too: http://www.marthastewart.com/edf

Sisters and Cookies

Just because I asked her to, my sister made these Nutella-stuffed Brown Butter Sea Salt Chocolate Chip Cookies for me this weekend. I've previously alluded to how awesome my sister has been with me during these tough past few weeks. This is just further proof of how having a sister (who makes an amazing chocolate chip cookie) is probably the best thing ever.

But seriously, about the cookies, RUN DO NOT WALK to make them. Upon tasting one, my mom "pre-ordered" them for the upcoming Autumn Festival in lieu of store-bought mooncakes. They are that good.

Ingrid Michaelson's Sort Of

I can't really pinpoint why, but it feels like this song is speaking for me all the words I cannot say.



It was also featured on this commercial that makes me tear up every time (no surprises here). You can get the song for free here: http://goo.gl/RnsKt

On Being Better

 

My second year has hit me so much harder than I thought it would. There never seems to be enough time for anything other than school-related tasks, everything is in constant motion without any feeling of control, and I am perpetually lost as to what day it is because our biweekly Monday exams have untethered me from the chronological anchor of the weekend. Even though I was warned, I'm coming to realize that this year will be just another time when you never really know until you know.

I'm still figuring this year out and how I fit into it. I'm in the same classrooms, using the same computers, saying hi to the same people, but it seems like a different lifetime when I think about my first year (barely 3 months ago). Despite so much that hasn't changed, it feels like so much more has.

I'm hopeful for a time when I don't feel like life is constantly startling me. I'm hopeful for the friend whose life has forever changed in the hardest of ways this week. I'm hopeful that I may one day be as kind and selfless as my sister has been in her thoughtful care of me during my worst moments. I'm hopeful for when the pregnant pauses of things left unsaid won't echo as loudly as what actually is said. I'm hopeful that I'll find my groove again, or even better, carve a new one. I'm hopeful that things will get better, that I will get better. That I will be better.



(photo)

An Ending

My last day of work (again). Feeling a little differently this time compared to last year as I realize that I won't be back for a while - at least not in the foreseeable future. I recall the gentle sadness and affection I was feeling when I left the lab last year. I was thinking my life would never again be the same. This time around, while I am a little apprehensive when I think about the dreaded second year, I'm also hopeful for all that it holds: pathologies, diseases, the bread and butter of medicine. While I'm not quite ready for it per say, I am determined and prepared to be unwavering in its onslaught.

Regardless, some things have stayed the exact same. Forever grateful for my time working with some amazing researchers, doing significant work on a few projects. Despite the (not so subtle) longing for complete relaxation during my last summer vacation ever, I can safely say that I made the right decision coming back. Definitely quite satisfying.


(photo via kittenskittenskittens)

The Opposite of Loneliness

Have you all heard of Marina Keegan? 

"What we have to remember is that we can still do anything. We can change our minds. We can start over... we MUST not lose this sense of possibility because in the end, it’s all we have."

Gorgeous, haunting, and so inspiring: The Opposite of Loneliness

Sunday Seven

I'm always a day late, but I've been making the most of my weekends. This is my last week of work before I take 1 week off in my last summer vacation forever. This past week was very full, in the lazy and decadent way that is so indicative of summer.

Glacier National Park and Banff

Back from vacation! Everything was as gorgeous as I had hoped. Apparently the aqua blue water is a defining characteristic of glacial waters. Here was the first gorgeous lake we saw: Bow Lake on the way to Jasper National Park in Canada.

Gorgeous Horseshoe Lake

Hiking in Jasper National Park

gondola ride in Banff

downtown Banff from the Cascade Gardens

frozen glacial lake in a snowstorm

waterfall to Johnston Canyon

waterfalls in Glacier National Park

Our last hike to Hidden Lake, my favorite.

(as in my last vacation summary, all photos unedited and taken with my iPhone)

Vacation 2012 Anticipation

I'm really looking forward to getting away this Friday. Perhaps in a way that goes beyond typical pre-vacation excitement. It's been a while since I've felt such a desire and need to just escape. Cut myself off from my daily life, immerse myself in something different, but still remain within the familiar comfort of my family. Here are a couple pretty pictures of where we are headed.

(photos: 1, 2)

Sunday Seven

When the times are tough, I really should be the most diligent about finding the good in my days. Though the weather was gorgeous, these past few days have been a little turbulent, for reasons here and there.

Quotability

"So, my unsolicited advice to women in the workplace is this. When faced with sexism, or ageism, or lookism, or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: 'Is this person in between me and what I want to do?' If the answer is no, ignore it and move on. Your energy is better used doing your work and outpacing people that way.

Do your thing and don't care if they like it."

-Tina Fey, Bossypants

(photo via Cup of Jo)

Bike Riding

When we were young, my dad would take my sister and me out for a bike ride once a week to pick up the Sunday paper. The corner convenience store right outside the neighborhood was the perfect distance away. But we always took the long way. Up, down, and back up again we rode, along the hilly contours ubiquitous and so characteristic of rural Massachusetts. There was a secret shortcut through the back, one that required the utmost bravery to offroad down a steep dirt path riddled with bulky, twisted tree roots. In my memories, each one of these Sunday mornings, the weather was always perfect. The wind through my hair, despite my helmet head, made me feel weightless. It wasn't until much, much, later - long after we stopped these bike rides - that I realized how much I loved them....

A few weekends ago, the three of us went out on a short ride through our subdivision. No longer on our childhood bicycles, my sister and I felt a bit wobbly riding these vintage and just-a-little-too-large-that-they're-a-little-scary bicycles my dad got for a total of $15 (for two bicycles!) from a police auction more than a decade ago. The roads were flat and we rolled slowly along the sidewalks. Good speeds for us to get our "bicycle legs" back.

And the weather was just like I remember.

Pietro Mascagni's Cavalleria Rusticana: Intermezzo

I first performed in my cousin's wedding when I was 12 years old. Later, I became a wedding musician for hire through high school and college. Now I only do it occasionally for my very favorite people. I had thought by now, I'd heard or played nearly all of the good wedding music. However, for her candle lighting, Care requested this piece - one I had never heard of before. I'm seriously obsessed, listening to it on repeat even as I type this. Not only is it just so tender and beautiful (Italian opera will always get you!), but I reflexively think of Care and Rus' equally tender and beautiful ceremony. For me, this piece will forever carry the poignant weight of such happiness.

Something Blue

Feeling a little blue tonight after all of this weekend's excitement. Where I thought I'd be coasting on a high from all the fun and laughs I had, I'm mostly just nostalgic for when 515 and high school friends were all together. In true Dramatic Dorothy form, I was even moved to tears during a moment of ennui this afternoon... It really hit me then how rare and difficult it is for us to all get together now, and how it will only get more difficult. But of course, I know that these fleeting moments of longing are but a small price to pay for such funny, moving, beautiful, and true friendships. After all, we are but only a few key strokes away...


(photo of dusk from my neighborhood)

Sunday Seven

The "perfect weekend" version of a Sunday Seven:

The Royal Sons

I obviously first heard about The Royal Sons from Debbie. She sent me a casual email that said she thought I'd like their music. She was so right. I did and, now, less than a year later, I got to play with Landon at her wedding, and he will soon be marrying her gorgeous sister-in-law! How lucky!

Moments from our dress rehearsal right before Debbie married Chris :)

Give The Royal Sons a listen!

Sunday Seven

So once again, I dropped the ball on my Sunday Seven. I've just completely ignored it (and the blog, generally) for a few weeks now. In my defense, I've successfully completed my first year of med school (ahhhh!) and started my summer research job back up with only 1 weekend as my break. But here I am again!

Quotability

“The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit.”

Nelson Henderson

(photo by Jose Villa via Oncewed)

Sunday Seven

Of course I'm already late on my second Sunday Seven post... but better late than never, right?

Hollaaaa!

Look what I found on Cup of Jo!

Do you recognize the fifth ring??? It's the one I have! This is a huge style moment for me! Also, good thing I wear the ring on my middle finger now. Wouldn't want to confuse the masses.... Har. Har.

PS. I also love the first and sixth rings as everyday rings. Not really on the look-out for any wedding bands yet...

Sunday Seven

I attended a seminar recently where we watched an episode of This Emotional Life exploring the concept of happiness. I eat this stuff up. In college, I was an English Literature and Biopsychology double major and I've always been drawn to the intersection of science and the human experience. Not only has the link between proof-seeking science and intangible emotional experience always been fascinating to me, in many ways I've often felt reassured because my own questions about such ideas, even ones as basic and fundamental as happiness, are shared by many. Things aren't always as simple as they appear... How many secrets of life I have yet to discover.

In this particular episode, they describe a technique used in Positive Psychology in which an individual focuses on positive aspects from their normal day. They are then asked to describe these moments and why these experiences inspired positive feelings or thoughts. From there, one (or his or her positive psychologist) is able to see patterns in his or her own experience of happiness.

Jenny and I always wanted to keep a record (public or private) of 3 things we were grateful for that happened to us in a day. It's always easy (and quite satisfying) to wallow in self-pity or seek pity in others for all the hardships that we experience, but I'd argue that it's just as easy to find the good too. Because of this, I want to challenge myself to find the good in each day, be it an overall good or bad one. I'd ideally like to do it daily, but let's be honest, I don't even shower that often (TMI?). So I think I plan on recording 7 positive things every Sunday that hopefully will cover the past week. The Sunday Seven. Here we go:

1. Seeing all of the pictures from Debbie's wedding (a real post about this soon!) popping up all over Facebook because they let me relive such a happy day.
2. Dessert with Jenny on Tuesday, having fun with Albert yesterday, phone calls with JJB Friday, Debbie today. Getting to talk about anything and everything makes me refreshed and grateful for these friendships.
3. The cherry tree blooming outside my room window, pictured above, because though it flowers only fleetingly, the pink flowers and even the withering, fallen petals are just beautiful.
4. Picture texts from my sister from Shanghai! iMessage is so awesome and I'm so glad she's getting to enjoy her vacation with our dad.
   
   
5. A chance to really learn through something unpleasant. The power of communication and having a little hope can do wonders.
6. The first of countless salads for this summer: http://instagr.am/p/JvfKuyoLxs/. Tomatoes, cucumbers, garbanzo beans, purple cabbage with the dressing from my favorite salad. So simple, so delicious.
7. A day off today because I can play catch-up while semi-relaxed. I intentionally skipped orchestra rehearsal for this...

Whew, there are a lot in here! I hope you have an inspired week!

Shakespearean Fancies

Confession: I graduated as an English major without ever really studying Shakespeare. Of course I encountered bits in classes here and there; but with great regret, I never got the chance to take the famed Ralph Williams Shakespeare course (like Connie did - yes, I'm still jealous). Luckily for me, Professor Williams has been making these clips exploring the timelessness of Shakespeare's works in his uniquely dramatic flair. I hope to watch all of these at once when I'm done with school in about 2 months (ahh!).

You can find the whole collection here: http://www.lsa.umich.edu/lsa/archives?classification=spotlight%20shakespeare

Ingrid Michaelson's Skinny Love

If you couldn't already tell from this and that, I really love covers. Often times, I end up liking them more than the originals. This is an example of such a song.

Some side notes: I got free tickets and watched Ingrid perform live a few weeks ago with some classmates. Also, Debbie will be having this Ingrid song playing in her wedding ceremony by her future brother-in-law. It will be gorgeous and I can't wait.

Quotability

"But for us, it's different. Look again at that dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every 'superstar,' every 'supreme leader,' every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there - on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam."

Carl Sagan

(photo of the East Coast from space by NASA)

Social Promiscuity

So I think the reason why I've been more and more infrequent in my posting, besides the obvious school responsibilities, is perhaps my increasing participation in the modes of social networking. I've joined the likes of Instagram (because of my iPhone) and Twitter (because of my classmates), both of which I am warming up to more and more. There's less of a commitment to quality idea-expansion and coherent, cohesive expressions of thoughts and sadly is thus easier to use during fly-by moments during the day.

However, if any recall, it was this very responsibility of developing and following through with ideas and thoughts that drew me back to blogging in the first place. Especially now in the constant barrage of transient fancies and attention deficits, I hope to continue this meager exercize of writing in complete sentences when I can.

Anyway, here is my long-winded and bashful invitation to find me on Instagram (parachutesandpatience) and Twitter (cschen08) where you will find surely the "quantity over quality"-type posts, but hopefully with more pictures and possibly slightly more witty one-liners than you'll find here...

"Got Heart" Ring

This is my first piece of "everyday wear" jewelery that I actually wear all the time. I bought this Got Heart ring on sale from a little East Village jewelery boutique, on kind of a whim during my winter break. Of course, only Helen could bring me to a place as quintessentially New York as Verameat. She, along with my sister, were integral in my decision. Having worn this ring daily for a few months now, I feel like it was a worthy purchase. This buying nice jewelery for oneself - perhaps a physically small item, but significant in a young woman's life. At least for me, it is a daily reminder of what I'm capable of, my independence to find my own happiness, and the recognition of my own self-worth.

Happy Monday to all.

Amazing Paths

Back from Spring Break (more on this later!) and I'm feeling wanderlusty already. These pictures are from an email my sister sent me. Gorgeousness.

(we drove through roads like this when we were driving to Yellowstone!)