On Being Better

 

My second year has hit me so much harder than I thought it would. There never seems to be enough time for anything other than school-related tasks, everything is in constant motion without any feeling of control, and I am perpetually lost as to what day it is because our biweekly Monday exams have untethered me from the chronological anchor of the weekend. Even though I was warned, I'm coming to realize that this year will be just another time when you never really know until you know.

I'm still figuring this year out and how I fit into it. I'm in the same classrooms, using the same computers, saying hi to the same people, but it seems like a different lifetime when I think about my first year (barely 3 months ago). Despite so much that hasn't changed, it feels like so much more has.

I'm hopeful for a time when I don't feel like life is constantly startling me. I'm hopeful for the friend whose life has forever changed in the hardest of ways this week. I'm hopeful that I may one day be as kind and selfless as my sister has been in her thoughtful care of me during my worst moments. I'm hopeful for when the pregnant pauses of things left unsaid won't echo as loudly as what actually is said. I'm hopeful that I'll find my groove again, or even better, carve a new one. I'm hopeful that things will get better, that I will get better. That I will be better.



(photo)

An Ending

My last day of work (again). Feeling a little differently this time compared to last year as I realize that I won't be back for a while - at least not in the foreseeable future. I recall the gentle sadness and affection I was feeling when I left the lab last year. I was thinking my life would never again be the same. This time around, while I am a little apprehensive when I think about the dreaded second year, I'm also hopeful for all that it holds: pathologies, diseases, the bread and butter of medicine. While I'm not quite ready for it per say, I am determined and prepared to be unwavering in its onslaught.

Regardless, some things have stayed the exact same. Forever grateful for my time working with some amazing researchers, doing significant work on a few projects. Despite the (not so subtle) longing for complete relaxation during my last summer vacation ever, I can safely say that I made the right decision coming back. Definitely quite satisfying.


(photo via kittenskittenskittens)

The Opposite of Loneliness

Have you all heard of Marina Keegan? 

"What we have to remember is that we can still do anything. We can change our minds. We can start over... we MUST not lose this sense of possibility because in the end, it’s all we have."

Gorgeous, haunting, and so inspiring: The Opposite of Loneliness

Sunday Seven

I'm always a day late, but I've been making the most of my weekends. This is my last week of work before I take 1 week off in my last summer vacation forever. This past week was very full, in the lazy and decadent way that is so indicative of summer.

Glacier National Park and Banff

Back from vacation! Everything was as gorgeous as I had hoped. Apparently the aqua blue water is a defining characteristic of glacial waters. Here was the first gorgeous lake we saw: Bow Lake on the way to Jasper National Park in Canada.

Gorgeous Horseshoe Lake

Hiking in Jasper National Park

gondola ride in Banff

downtown Banff from the Cascade Gardens

frozen glacial lake in a snowstorm

waterfall to Johnston Canyon

waterfalls in Glacier National Park

Our last hike to Hidden Lake, my favorite.

(as in my last vacation summary, all photos unedited and taken with my iPhone)

Vacation 2012 Anticipation

I'm really looking forward to getting away this Friday. Perhaps in a way that goes beyond typical pre-vacation excitement. It's been a while since I've felt such a desire and need to just escape. Cut myself off from my daily life, immerse myself in something different, but still remain within the familiar comfort of my family. Here are a couple pretty pictures of where we are headed.

(photos: 1, 2)

Sunday Seven

When the times are tough, I really should be the most diligent about finding the good in my days. Though the weather was gorgeous, these past few days have been a little turbulent, for reasons here and there.